My students arrive one week from tomorrow. Okay, they officially arrive then.  Many of them have already come into the building to set up their lockers, go to sports practices, get their schedules changed or to just say hello.  They know that we are there early also...getting things in order before the "official" start of the year.

For me, this is when the Fear Machine kicks in.  I have a well-oiled Fear Machine.  Mine is like a bubble-maker...it starts slowly...questions that bubble up in the back of my mind.

What if this group of students is really resistant?  What if they hate Spanish?  What if they don't want to pay attention?  What if there is an angry, irrational parent ?  What if they don't share my sense of humor?  What if they hate reading? and on...and on...

These might seem quite silly for a woman in her 27th year of teaching.  I think that they are quite silly myself.  Certainly not rational.  But they bubble up nonetheless.  

Fear wants me to freeze, to stagnate, to stand stock-still.  It can be pretty darn powerful actually!  Fear has a lot of weapons.  There is Anxiety, which is like Fear working out in the Target Zone with the heart pumping and sweat pouring.  There is Dread, which is Fear leaking into all of the little corners of the calendar.  There is Panic, which is Fear with a sledgehammer.  

Everyone has a Fear Machine.  Most of us hide ours from other people whenever possible.  Many times what we see as sarcasm, superiority, condescension, vanity and pride are really costumes for hiding a soul in the clutches of their Fear Machine.  I hide mine with humor.  

I've learned over the years to deal with my Fear Machine.  I've learned the power of deep breaths and positive thinking.  I have a little arsenal myself that I use to pop those bubbles.  Even with that arsenal, there are too many days, too many classes when I am afraid to dive into conversations or stories with my students.  I'm afraid that I haven't "prepared" or "planned" enough.  Or maybe that I'm just not good enough that day to even try.  I really don't like letting Fear have his way with me like that.   What I have realized lately though, is that the greatest weapon against Fear is Action.  

Action.  I think about the massive collection of Action Figures my sons had when they were young.  They could defeat any enemy!!  Why?  Because they were ACTION FIGURES!!!  Not contemplation figures, not planning figures, not talking figures...ACTION FIGURES!!!

So what are the actions that will burst my TPRS-fear bubbles and let me move ahead? I'm working on that and I'll get back to you!

with love,
Laurie