What Are They Going Home To?
It used to be a deep, dark secret. What did? Everything. All the things that our kids go home to. All the things that we go home to. More and more realities have "come out of the closet", so to speak, but there is still enormous social pressure to pretend that everyone's family and everyone's home is still "all right." It wasn't then. It isn't now.
One parent has a restraining order against another. One parent is in jail. One parent has terminal cancer. One parent lost their job. One parent tried to commit suicide. One parent succeeded. One parent disappeared. One parent said, "You can't live here anymore." One parent overdosed. One parent left the other one. One parent is suing the other for custody. One parent is a dealer....and not at a casino.
The kid lives with the grandparent. The kid lives with a stepparent. The kid lives with a friend. The kid lives with a coach. The kid lives alone because the adult is never home. The kid doesn't have a home to go to, but instead moves from couch to couch around the neighborhood.
A sibling goes to court next week. A sibling is getting chemo. A sibling was arrested last night. A sibling never came home last night. A sibling is pregnant, at 15. A sibling is threatening. A sibling is threatened.
The student works 20 hours a week so that the family can have food. The student works 20 hours a week so that he doesn't have to be home. The student works 20 hours a week to support his weed habit. The student works 20 hours a week because it is more interesting than school.
The girl wonders if she is fat. The boy wonders if he is gay. The girl wonders if she is pregnant. The boy wonders if he is stupid. The girl wonders if the step dad will stop touching her. The boy wonders if anyone will be home to make him dinner. The girl wonders which is the better reputation...virgin or slut. The boy wonders if he has to have sex to be a man.
Someone at home has the flu. No one has health insurance. Someone at home has a gun. No one knows who will be in and out of the house at night. Someone at home drives without a license. No one lets Dad drive when he's drunk. Someone at home is a meth addict. No one dares enter the house without calling first. Someone at home has an OCD issue. No one can come over. Someone at home is out of control. No one will call the police. Someone should have stayed home with the baby. No one is there to sign the permission slip. Someone at home forgot to buy food. No one knows that she is a cutter.
Someone in your classroom doesn't have heat.
Someone in your classroom doesn't have running water.
Someone in your classroom doesn't have a bed.
Someone in your classroom doesn't know how to read.
Someone in your classroom is here illegally.
Someone in your classroom is using inhalants.
Someone in your classroom just had an abortion.
Someone in your classroom lives in a state of panic.
Someone in your classroom just found out that Mom is having an affair.
Someone in your classroom needs you to understand....
that all the things that happen outside of your classroom....
try to come in with each and every student who enters.
Someone in your classroom needs to know that you are
strong,
brave,
patient,
caring enough....
to handle it.
with love,
Laurie
One parent has a restraining order against another. One parent is in jail. One parent has terminal cancer. One parent lost their job. One parent tried to commit suicide. One parent succeeded. One parent disappeared. One parent said, "You can't live here anymore." One parent overdosed. One parent left the other one. One parent is suing the other for custody. One parent is a dealer....and not at a casino.
The kid lives with the grandparent. The kid lives with a stepparent. The kid lives with a friend. The kid lives with a coach. The kid lives alone because the adult is never home. The kid doesn't have a home to go to, but instead moves from couch to couch around the neighborhood.
A sibling goes to court next week. A sibling is getting chemo. A sibling was arrested last night. A sibling never came home last night. A sibling is pregnant, at 15. A sibling is threatening. A sibling is threatened.
The student works 20 hours a week so that the family can have food. The student works 20 hours a week so that he doesn't have to be home. The student works 20 hours a week to support his weed habit. The student works 20 hours a week because it is more interesting than school.
The girl wonders if she is fat. The boy wonders if he is gay. The girl wonders if she is pregnant. The boy wonders if he is stupid. The girl wonders if the step dad will stop touching her. The boy wonders if anyone will be home to make him dinner. The girl wonders which is the better reputation...virgin or slut. The boy wonders if he has to have sex to be a man.
Someone at home has the flu. No one has health insurance. Someone at home has a gun. No one knows who will be in and out of the house at night. Someone at home drives without a license. No one lets Dad drive when he's drunk. Someone at home is a meth addict. No one dares enter the house without calling first. Someone at home has an OCD issue. No one can come over. Someone at home is out of control. No one will call the police. Someone should have stayed home with the baby. No one is there to sign the permission slip. Someone at home forgot to buy food. No one knows that she is a cutter.
Someone in your classroom doesn't have heat.
Someone in your classroom doesn't have running water.
Someone in your classroom doesn't have a bed.
Someone in your classroom doesn't know how to read.
Someone in your classroom is here illegally.
Someone in your classroom is using inhalants.
Someone in your classroom just had an abortion.
Someone in your classroom lives in a state of panic.
Someone in your classroom just found out that Mom is having an affair.
Someone in your classroom needs you to understand....
that all the things that happen outside of your classroom....
try to come in with each and every student who enters.
Someone in your classroom needs to know that you are
strong,
brave,
patient,
caring enough....
to handle it.
with love,
Laurie
You are SO RIGHT....they can have a huge amount of hidden stresses. Just this week a student delivered a letter to me from another who was beaten by her mother and kept home. In it she tells of how her brother pushed her and she broke a glass that was on the table. It escalated where the mother said she wished the girl had never been born and that she should have flushed her in the toilet the day she was born. The mother beats her when she replies she hates her mother. Then the girl tries to take medecine to kill herself.
She came to me for help. I think it's because I show I care. I contacted the school social worker and the guidance counselor. I don't know what has happened but the child comes to see me everyday to say hi. I did get a chance to talk to her....
I've had students confide that they've been raped or molested. One boy lost his baby brother... all this may be hidden but it's there. How much they need a smile and someone to show they care!
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