The Power of the Perception of Love
Maybe this is not the right place for such a piece.....but here it is:
I believe that everything that a human being thinks, feels, speaks and acts is a reflection of his or her perceptions of love.
Each of us has had a different life experience...even within the same family...and so each of us "sees" love in a different way.
For the sake of this particular piece, Love is the complicated collection of emotions and responses that humans share when they are closely connected. Our perceptions of love develop from our earliest moments, and can develop throughout our lives.
Perhaps the most direct way to assess how a person perceives love, is to ask them to finish this statement:
If you love __________ , you (will, should, would)___________________________________.
For example, here in the U.S.:
If you love your child you will provide (pick as many as you see fit) food, shelter, support, encouragement, religious training, rest, opportunities to be creative, opportunities to overcome adversity, opportunities to be independent, discipline, life skills, a role model, transportation, vacations, chores, medical care, exposure to the arts, etc. , etc..
If you love your child you will demonstrate physical affection, culturally-appropriate ways to handle stress and anger, self-care, an involvement in physical activity/exercise, a strong work ethic, empathy for others, curiosity, patience, self-control, joy, etc., etc...
(and then you fall over exhausted in your quest for perfectionism! but that is another post!)
Kids either accept and emulate their parents' "love", or they learn to survive it until they can create their own version in their own families as adults. As they become adolescents, they begin to look around and to realize that what falls under the category of "love" in their home, may be quite different somewhere else.
As a young girl, I was excited and petrified to visit my friends' homes. I figured out early on that different families had different rules and I was often afraid that I would do the wrong thing. On the other hand, I was fascinated by what went on behind the closed doors of other people's houses. Do they use mayonaise or salad dressing in their tuna? (or egads...mustard?! olives? celery?!!!)Would we say grace or eat on the front steps? Did her mom want me to call her Mrs. Rogers or...gasp...Amelia? Who cleaned up the dishes? Who chose the t.v. channel? (from the three available choices of course) Would we have to brush our teeth before bed? Would we be allowed a "midnight" snack? Would there be spankings if we were bad?
It has taken me nearly fifty years to figure out that every single word and action within those homes spoke volumes about what that family perceived as love.
So now, of course, the question is....
What do the words and actions in our classrooms say to our students about our perceptions about Love?
with love,
Laurie
I believe that everything that a human being thinks, feels, speaks and acts is a reflection of his or her perceptions of love.
Each of us has had a different life experience...even within the same family...and so each of us "sees" love in a different way.
For the sake of this particular piece, Love is the complicated collection of emotions and responses that humans share when they are closely connected. Our perceptions of love develop from our earliest moments, and can develop throughout our lives.
Perhaps the most direct way to assess how a person perceives love, is to ask them to finish this statement:
If you love __________ , you (will, should, would)___________________________________.
For example, here in the U.S.:
If you love your child you will provide (pick as many as you see fit) food, shelter, support, encouragement, religious training, rest, opportunities to be creative, opportunities to overcome adversity, opportunities to be independent, discipline, life skills, a role model, transportation, vacations, chores, medical care, exposure to the arts, etc. , etc..
If you love your child you will demonstrate physical affection, culturally-appropriate ways to handle stress and anger, self-care, an involvement in physical activity/exercise, a strong work ethic, empathy for others, curiosity, patience, self-control, joy, etc., etc...
(and then you fall over exhausted in your quest for perfectionism! but that is another post!)
Kids either accept and emulate their parents' "love", or they learn to survive it until they can create their own version in their own families as adults. As they become adolescents, they begin to look around and to realize that what falls under the category of "love" in their home, may be quite different somewhere else.
As a young girl, I was excited and petrified to visit my friends' homes. I figured out early on that different families had different rules and I was often afraid that I would do the wrong thing. On the other hand, I was fascinated by what went on behind the closed doors of other people's houses. Do they use mayonaise or salad dressing in their tuna? (or egads...mustard?! olives? celery?!!!)Would we say grace or eat on the front steps? Did her mom want me to call her Mrs. Rogers or...gasp...Amelia? Who cleaned up the dishes? Who chose the t.v. channel? (from the three available choices of course) Would we have to brush our teeth before bed? Would we be allowed a "midnight" snack? Would there be spankings if we were bad?
It has taken me nearly fifty years to figure out that every single word and action within those homes spoke volumes about what that family perceived as love.
So now, of course, the question is....
What do the words and actions in our classrooms say to our students about our perceptions about Love?
with love,
Laurie
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