Trust Buster #3 Predicting the Fast-Food Future
It has become a stock phrase in many American classrooms: “Do you want to end up flipping burgers for a living?!!” Used at just the right time, in the right place, with the right kids it seems very funny. It’s not. Ever.
Sarcasm is the tool of the weak folks. I can get away with saying this because, personally I am really good at sarcasm. I used it frequently, in my younger days, as a classroom management tool . It shuts kids up. It also gave me a way to be popular with kids who appreciated my witty ability to make other people look and feel like losers. Bottom line is….sarcasm produces shame. That is why it works. I had to train myself to stop using it.
Just because I think I am intelligent does NOT give me the right to make other people feel stupid.
Stopping sarcasm opened up many amazing doors for me with my students. Most importantly, I try to become a role model for other ways of handling frustration, communication problems, and basically BEING OUT OF CONTROL OF A SITUATION. You see, Sarcasm is a bright person’s way of taking control of a possible out-of-control situation. But that is another blog….
The reality of the Fast Food Future is that it isn’t the worst thing that can happen to folks. In many families, an adult working in fast food is what puts food on the table and health insurance within reach. Do we really have the right to insult that?
In some families, working in fast food is a far better alternative to what is presently going on….especially in this economy. Let’s face it: working in fast food is WORKING. It’s showing up every day, leaving smelling like French fries, putting up with uppity know-it-all fast food eaters, and getting a paycheck. There is nothing wrong with doing a day’s work. Anywhere.
I know, I know….that isn’t what you mean when you say it. You want kids to realize their potential. You want kids to aspire to wearing a necktie or a stethoscope or at the very least, not smelling like French fries at the end of a long day. But frankly, what you mean when you say it doesn’t really matter. It’s what THEY HEAR when we say it that matters.
What they hear is:
Teachers are smart and you kids are stupid. (and they all know that folks with the same degrees we have are making much more money somewhere else so they don’t quite buy that)
Teachers have the power to insult and students have to take it. (and they WILL find ways to get their power back, trust me on this….)
Teachers are completely disconnected from reality and shouldn’t be taken seriously. (ouch)
Sarcasm is allowed, accepted and encouraged when you are in charge or more educated. (and they will take advantage of that and spread their own sarcasm on the less fortunate whenever the opportunity arises.)
Teachers have a dim view of people who are lower-income and less-educated than they are. (and Teachers think that they have the right to be that way)
Now I know that many of us use those phrases with love and humor. We truly believe that the kids “get” what we mean and that they know that we aren’t putting anyone down. I’m going to challenge you on that. I think that they get the message loud and clear….no matter what kind of spin we put on it…and that it is the wrong message to be giving our kids.
We MAY think that fast food is a great place for teens but not a future to aspire to. There is nothing wrong with that. But using Fast Food Future sarcasm and insults to control classroom behavior or motivate our students will destroy any chance that we have to create strong relationships in our classrooms. We need to drop that line and find other ways to open doors for kids.
With love,
Laurie
You know, despite the fact that I worked in a fast-food restaurant for about 8 years of my life, and learned some of the most important lessons of my life there, I've found myself tempted to use the fast-food prediction in class.
But I haven't, and that's because if I just stop a moment I realize it is just such an ignorant thing to say. My dad is a Chick-fil-A operator. If you don't know Chick-fil-A, it's a fast-food that's recognized as a step above the rest. And my dad doesn't drop burgers, but he does fry chicken and clean bathrooms from time to time. And I'm so glad that he doesn't see himself as "above" those things. I'm so proud that even though he's the boss, he will go clean up vomit in the dining room, or run the drive through window, etc. My dad doesn't have a college degree, but he's an awesome leader. And he loves what he does. And he makes a really good living (better than most of us teachers).
And you are so right, it would be a shame for us to shame a great career field (food service) when it could be an awesome opportunity for many of our students, especially those who may struggle some in the academic system (my dad is super smart but didn't perform very well in most classes).
Sorry for the rant, my two cents were just demanding to be released.
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Ruby Payne said that a good question to ask people from poverty is "do you want to know how you can win more often?" So I tell students that doing well in school will give them more choices. That avoids insulting people but gets the point across... who wants to have last choice?
Now, my mother made more money working a factory than I have with my college degree, but I have always had choices and have almost always been happy with my work.
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I was pretty sure that I might strike a nerve with this post, but I cannot apologize for it if I did. I think that there is never really a good reason or time to go this direction...although I absolutely understand how and why we do it. I so appreciate your responses. It touches me that the two of you came from families (as did I) where everyone was not "educated". The students in our classrooms are as special and important as the two of you are (and if you couldn't tell Stephen and Carla are very dear to me...even if I did just "meet" them in person last month!!). I would not want to ever make you feel as if you, or your families, were not somehow "up to par". And that is how our students feel when we predict the FFF for them.
Carla, your point about choices is beautiful (ps readers, if you haven't read anything by Ruby Payne please do!!!!). Not only does it honor the mindset of our students, it gives them the clear message that we trust their future ability to see the choices and to choose wisely from the options. What a great message to give kids.
The truth is, the academic (school) system isn't always that great. For some kids it is atrocious. It is not right for us to tell kids who have been poorly treated for a decade to honor that system in order to "be successful" in life.
When we predict the FFF, we are putting that educational system up on a pedestal. And truly.... It's not about the system...it's about the kids. Kids are so trained to think that it is about the system that it will be hard for them to hear what we have to say...but keep on trying.
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You are very right Laurie. Working, no latter what job it is, is to be respected. Telling them that the more they know the more choies they have, like Carla said is very true. i also tell my kids about parents I have talked to, some from Haiti who have experienced a very hard life or those whose mothers push wheelbarrows full of items to sell in the hot sun for miles to earn money and how they have told me what they sacrifice so that their children will not have to live this hard life. I ask them to also make the sacrifice of their mother or father worth it.
Many experience pride for the first time in my class and I tell them they should be proud of acomplishing something. Plus it is better to be able to choose than have life choose for you.
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